Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
