drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
she peed on how many people?
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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