im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Randomize
