You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Randomize
