We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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