She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
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