I hate all girls vehemently.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize
