i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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