we're blogging at a bar
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Help me help you realize you are a moron
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
