i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Alive.
So much puke
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
