That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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