found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
