Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
