look no pants
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
