I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
