Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
