Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
