I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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