Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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