Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
