i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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