My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
