she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
