Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
