I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
