So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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