Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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