just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
