is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
you made out with another girl for some wings
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
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