Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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