physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
