Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
