I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
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