We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
