look no pants
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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