What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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