Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
