You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
