just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize
