sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
