Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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