he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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