Got a toothbrush?
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
