is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
