i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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