The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
