She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
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