Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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