my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I did not marry a roomba.
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