dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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