this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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